Thousands of You
Saturday, January 17, 2015 at 11:46AM
Dennis Young

"When there are a thousand people in the room, there are a thousand different Katies in this chair..."
--Byron Katie

So, for every hundred people you interact with in your life, there are a hundred different takes on you, one for each person.

Your Mom sees you one way, your boss sees you another. Your friends each see you in terms of what they focus on, what they value. A politically focused person might think you're not as involved in politics as you should be. A needy friend might want more of your attention. You get the idea.

So which you are you? Some of them? All of them? None of them? You get to decide.

We are all multifaceted beings. Our perceptions of ourselves and one another are multifaceted as well. We are many people to ourselves and a slightly different person to everyone we meet. There is no one truth about who or what we are. And whoever we are today, we'll be subtly different tomorrow, and the day after, and so on.

Identity, as a fixed value, is a fiction. Who we are is a relative value, meaning it depends on who it is that's doing the evaluation, and when they're doing it and why.

People can't be pigeonholed. Identity -- who we are -- is a mixed bag and a moving target, and it all depends on your point of view. A patriot from the perspective of the opposition is a terrorist.

Plus no one is any one thing for long. We're constantly changing and evolving. Which is why fixed ideas about ourselves or one another aren't a good idea. People can surprise us. We can surprise ourselves.

Leave room to discover more. Leave room for surprises. Don't imagine that you know anyone completely, or better than they know themselves

Article originally appeared on Counseling - Coaching (
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